The Return
by dnalalal
Summary: Post-Grave; Four months after his trip to Africa Spike decides it's time to come home.
1. one

Disclaimer: I wish I owned them, but..woe is me.  
  
Spoilers: Up until the end of season six.  
  
A/N: I've read a ton of post Grave stories lately, and so many have Buffy welcoming Spike back with open arms. While I love Spuffiness, and I do think that deep down she loves him -- I don't think it should be THAT easy. This is my take on what should happen.  
  
A/N #2: I've also seen a lot of Spike losing his edge b/c he gained a soul. That is the last thing I want to see in the show, and you won't see it here (I hope!).  
___________  
___________  
Spike stared at the thick piece of oak before him, silently berating himself for being so stupid. He racked his brain, trying to remember the reasons his heart had used to convince his mind that returning to Sunnydale..to Buffy..was a good idea. In retrospect he cursed his illogical heart. Of course it wasn't a good idea! Of course this was the reaction he should have expected.  
  
Of course she wouldn't answer the door to him.  
  
He began to back away slowly, not yet prepared to turn away completely. He didn't want much, just a chance to explain himself. But then, before, all he'd wanted was a crumb, and when given that, plus hours of mind-blowing sex, he couldn't stop himself from wanting even more from her.  
  
Part of him was glad that she didn't answer the door, for mixed reasons, while the other part was already retreating into itself in a state of depression. He hesitated one last moment before turning away for good.  
  
It was that moment which she chose to finally answer the door.  
  
Spike froze.  
  
She was beautiful. Even more stunning than he'd remembered, although she never would have been caught dead out in public in her current sloppy state. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she wore flannel pyjamas that were a size too big, remnants of a smile from one of Dawn's goofy jokes still graced her face.  
  
"Hello Buffy."  
  
Her eyes widened and the smile fell from her face. The hand holding onto the door noticeably tightened so that her knuckles turned white.  
  
"Who is it Buff?" he heard Dawn call from the living room.  
  
Buffy blinked back to life. She swallowed audibly and then turned and fled up the stairs, leaving the door hanging wide open.  
  
"Buffy?!" Dawn came into view, turned towards the stairs and her sister's retreating back. She spun quickly around to face him..to see what had startled her sister to such an extent.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
Spike nodded to her and offered a tiny smile that never reached his eyes.  
  
"Hey 'Bit."  
  
"Spike." she hesitated and then slowly reached out a hand, as though she were going to touch his face to make sure she wasn't dreaming, but he backed up, dodging any contact. His eyes were flittering all over the place, refusing to meet her big, questioning misty ones.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
He took another step back and nearly stumbled down the stairs.  
  
"I have to go."   
  
With that he turned and disappeared into the darkness. 


	2. two

A/N: Thanks to Vanessa for reminding me about Dawn's eyes. Duh, I must have had a brain cramp. Anywho, I just noticed there is a story out there called 'His Return' and one called 'Returned' and both are regarding Spike coming back from Africa blah blah..and so yeah, I think I better get me a new title. Any suggestions?  
___________  
___________  
  
"Is he gone?"  
  
"Yeah." Buffy hugged her arms around her knees a little tighter, trying to squeeze away some of the mixed emotions that were assaulting her.  
  
"Oh God Dawnie..I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you down there..alone..with him. He could be..dangerous."  
  
Dawn shrugged. Buffy had warned her to expect a chipless Spike back in town someday, but neither had realized it would be so soon. Willy had once mentioned to the slayer that he'd heard rumours that Spike had "changed" since he'd left.   
  
"It's ok. The spell..remember? I didn't invite him in or anything."  
  
They were silent. Dawn hovered in the doorway, not sure what to do.  
  
"So um..are you all right? No, stupid question. Do you want anything?"  
  
Buffy smiled weakly.  
  
"I'm fine Dawn. But I think I'm going to turn in early ok?"  
  
Dawn bit her lip, not sure that she wanted to leave Buffy alone to her own devices, but nodded nonetheless.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Goodnight then."  
  
"Night sweetie. Don't stay up too late."  
  
Dawn went back downstairs to watch some more TV. Meanwhile, Buffy threw on some stealthier clothes and slipped out the window.  
___________  
___________  
  
She watched as Clem exited the crypt, calling 'Goodbye!' over his shoulder and happily munching on a bag of Doritos. As soon as he was out of sight she rounded the corner and pushed open the heavy door.  
  
"Clem!" Spike's exasperated voice reverberated throughout the large open room, "I told you, I'll be alright!"  
  
He poked his head up from the lower level, ready to give the wrinkly demon a piece of his mind. When he saw her the anger on his face was quickly replaced by a smirk.  
  
"Well well well, look what the cat dragged in." He pulled himself up onto the main level and tilted his head in that cocky way he has.  
  
"Changed your mind did you love?"  
  
Buffy brandished a large cross in her right hand, which successfully wiped the smirk off his face.  
  
"I don't want to fight you, but I will. Leave town Spike."  
  
"Whoa! Steady on Slayer. Don't let those horses get the best of you!" He held his hands up in mock surrender.  
  
"I'm serious Spike." She backed away as he took a step towards her.  
  
"And why should I leave?" His voice had dropped a notch. It was that seducing tone he always used that made the little hairs at the back of her neck stand up.   
  
Spike took another step, backing her into the wall and Buffy felt herself involuntarily begin to tremble. She suddenly remembered they were playing on his turf now and she didn't know if she had it in her to really truly stake him.  
  
"If you're not gone by--" She wasn't even able to finish her threat before he was retreating from her. He turned his back to her and Buffy was suddenly very annoyed by the lack of concern her threats had inspired in him.  
  
She lunged out, kicking him in the back of his knees and then followed his stumbling path to push him into the wall. One hand was holding both his wrists behind him; the other was buried in his hair, pushing his face into the grimy stone wall.  
  
"I said, if you aren't gone by sunrise tomorrow, I will stake you."  
  
He remained silent and that disquieted Buffy more than any verbal slur ever could. She pushed the cross against his shoulder blade until it burnt through his shirt and she heard him hissing with pain.  
  
"Did you hear me?"  
  
"I won't leave." he gritted out, through clenched teeth. She could see the muscle in his jaw twitching and for the first time noticed his puffy, red eyes.  
  
For a moment her bravado faltered and she heard herself plead.  
  
"Spike. Just go. I don't want to dust you."  
  
"Then don't Buffy. If you're so desperate not to lay eyes on me then I promise you won't. I'll take care or the scourge in my cemetery and you'll never need to come here. But I won't leave. This is my home."  
  
She let go of her hold on him and backed away to a safe distance.  
  
"I can't risk having you around here."  
  
"'Fraid you can't resist me?" Suddenly the smirk was back in place and Buffy regretted releasing him. He was dangerous when he was cocky. But she had to remember that he was dangerous all the time now.  
  
"I'll never touch you again Spike, except to kick your sorry ass."  
  
He didn't bother with a reply to that one, he could see by the darkening of her eyes that he could have her in a second, if he wanted it that way. His smirk only grew.  
  
"So how many people have you killed so far?" She asked coldly, changing her tactics a little. It worked, he was thrown. Once again the smirk was wiped away and she could have sworn his eyes became a little misty.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out and suddenly he had her pressed up against the wall, one hand resting on her waist and the other forearm pressing against her throat, making it difficult to breathe. She tried to push him away but he was too strong.  
  
He swallowed audibly and from this close Buffy could see the silent tears sliding down his cheeks.  
  
"You don't get to say that. You don't know what I've been through." He pressed harder and Buffy's eyes widened in fright as he cut off her air passages. He leaned into her, his unneeded breath tickling her ear.  
  
"Don't disappoint love, stake me tomorrow."  
  
As soon as he released his hold on her Buffy shoved him away from her and stumbled out of the crypt. Hot tears streaming down her face. 


End file.
